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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2005|08:07 pm]
Nerd Squad

[mood |gloomygloomy]
[music |Jeff Deyo~~>You Are Good (Piano and Cello Mvmt)]

We have had some really amazing entries in this journal and some great discussions...I miss it so very much.
Anyone have anything to say? Any thoughts or latest philosphies?

I miss my friends.
Love, Chrissy
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(no subject) [Nov. 2nd, 2005|03:49 am]
Nerd Squad


I miss nerd squad very much.  And I was wondering, if anyone still reads this.  So here I am.  At nearly four in the morning posting.  I should be working on my test or my essay. That would do me good, however, here I am.   I also miss my nerd squad friends.

P.S.  What is the point of essays?

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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2005|09:50 pm]
Nerd Squad

[mood |lovedIndescribable in the most amaz]
[music |The Past Five Years (that's right, I'm just as addicted)]

I'm reading a most amazing book right now. "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller.
I was drawn to it because the subtitle is as follows: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality. That's a lot of loaded language right there in that one sentance-something that I could get all huffy about (you know the use of religious and christian and spiritual all within five words of each other) but I won't. It's too amazing for THAT.
*I like to emphasize THE wrong words*

quote: I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.

This is more of a statement that I felt the need to share than one that I felt needed discussion. Here COMES the one that needs discussion, perhaps.

quote: I don't think, however, there are many people who can stay happy for long periods of time. Joy is a temporal thing. Its brief capacity, as reference, gives it its pleasure.

This was a hard concept for me, personally. To me, joy always implied a God-given, supernatural feeling. But when I try to apply it to my life, it goes against everything I've experienced thus far in living, so I've been thinking about this very closely. We try to define happiness, joy, love, or whatever it is that we live for, as is Jon's favorite topic as of late. But maybe Joy is something that we love because "it's brief capacity gives it its pleasure". Would we love chocolate if we got to eat it for every single meal without feeling its affects or it's weight gain? Would we want to perform, even the most amazing pieces for the most amazing crowds, if we did it every evening and it was no longer special? I have the strong feeling that Jon will tear this one to pieces with his desire to not look for something more, but as someone who LOVES looking for something more, this seems to make sense to me. Not in a depressing way..but it just makes sense. I love what is special and what gives me pleasure every so often. I certainly would not rave about Sonshine if it weren't once a year and for 3-5 measly days, would I? It would become routine, and by definition, routine is something that the human mind just accepts. Maybe we can enjoy it immensely every time we do it, like the example of going to work every day, but there's not anything particularly special about it. Something can be fantastic and routine but special? Every time? I don't know. Different for every person, I'm sure. But it's something I hadn't thought about. Please do all you folk of thought!

Peace out
~Chrissy Bo Bissy~
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(no subject) [Jul. 1st, 2005|02:28 pm]
Nerd Squad

This is kind of comming off of Chrissy's recent entry. You should all read it, if you haven't.
Truth. Revealing. Hurt. Happiness.
I hate only being able to be completely true to some people. Why do we hold it back? It would probably make things a lot easier (in the further future) if we all said what we needed to say. It would make our far happiness more obtainable... or would it? Would it rather change us to something that makes another person happy? I get confused by this. There are some things that I would love to express to their fullest and confront and tear apart... but the consequences and hurting that would come out of that confrontation would almost seem pointless in the end. I have a feeling that no matter what, we will all eventually do what makes us happy, regardless of other people's preferences. I do not like this, but I respect it's presence.
I think that I am quite willing to change some things about myself if it truly is making someone else happier. But, of course there would be a point where change would no longer occur, and I would satisfy my own happiness. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
Gossip all starts because we're afraid to be "real" and "true" to the people where the problem originated. So, therefore we all pretend like it's really not that big of a deal and hide it. We say "oohh. don't worry, it'll be gone tomorrow." but, sometimes it's not. We build it all up and let ourselves down with all of these reassuring hopes. It's disgusting. I wish I had all of these friendships where I was completely honest w/them all. Jon, you are the only one.

hm.. be true, guys.
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happiness [cross-posted from my own journal]. [Jun. 30th, 2005|10:32 pm]
Nerd Squad
[mood |curiousreflective]

i think that i have slipped back to the state of mind that i was in just before or right at the beginning of mimc last year. where i don't really care to focus too much on what i'm playing because it's "good enough." the path to mediocrity. and i think jon's theorizing on happiness has a lot to do with how i got this way.

i didn't work my ass during the school year because it made me happy. i did it because it made me a better person as well as musician. but then jon's theories started making sense and i started doing things that made me happy. i would much rather sleep in because that would make me happy. i would rather go out to eat or shopping because those feel good. why can't people just be happy with the moment, with what's happening right now?, jon would ask. and so i laid back and said, "this is all right." i became satisfied. content. complacent. lazy.

i didn't start thinking about how jon's musings have affected me until after i read brave new world, where huxley addresses happiness in regards to the meaning of life. in the utopia of the brave new world every one is happy. every one loves to do only their job. no one is wanting. no one is jealous. if anyone ever gets sad, he or she can take a half-gram of a drug that carries no withdrawal symptoms. everything is stable. pure happiness.
but in this world there is no truth, beauty, high art, or religion. think about it. what is happiness? contentment. satisfaction. fulfillment. in brave new world, the meaning of life is happiness and every one lives it everyday -- but no one ever seeks to better his- or herself. no expansion of knowledge or understanding. because no one questions the happiness they have been given -- they're all happy, dammit.

and i became like that. living right now. doing what pleases me. and i plateaued, stagnated, and then slid back down. i stopped listening to what was coming out of my viola, stopped playing slowly enough to merge myself with the sound. because i didn't care what came out; it was good enough. especially here. i could say i'm better than this person and this person, and i probably got some satisfaction from that. but i shouldn't.

i prefer to think of my meaning of life in terms of humanism and unlimited human potential. i want to continually get better and better. but i don't want to be happy with continually getting better, i have to get better and getting better. find new ways to better myself. new ways to think of how i play. jon would not be pleased at this, but i'm not a hedon like jon. doing things because they feel good -- regardless of whether or not they are actually good for you -- is a dangerous thought.
i like this unlimited capacity for movement and change. and it shouldn't make me happy because happiness is stagnant and unquestioning. happiness isn't better, it simply is. even the lower castes in brave new world were happy because they were conditioned to prefer their lifestyle over a line of career that would be more taxing on the mind. there is no pinacle of happiness where only the person who has everything can have happiness. happiness comes from satisfaction with the way things are, where even the dirtiest person living in the tiniest little box can be happy. and like i said, no one who is happy questions anything because they're satisfied...not wanting anything. and then things don't change much less get better.

so what i need is to forget happiness. happiness does not allow for passion. i work to better myself for the passion. and passion...what a wonderful thing. chastity is passion. monogamy is passion. jealousy is passion. regret is passion. selfishness is passion. pride is passion. heroism is passion. bravery is passion. loyalty is passion. possession is passion. passion is a wonderful, wonderful thing. it doesn't always feel good, but it's never stagnant. passion always demands action.
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intelligence? [Jun. 28th, 2005|11:41 pm]
Nerd Squad

[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Yellowtime, MP]

I have a thought that has been in the back of my mind all year and I've kept it there for my own reasons and would like to see if you guys could assist me in tackling it. I know an assist only counts as half a tackle statistically, but I would still like your support, even Keith Bulluck (Tennesee Tittans Linebacker, led the NFL with 152 tackles last season) makes some assists out there.

The question of the hour is: what is intelligence/smarts/knowledge/brain power? We define certain people as smart or intelligent and others miss the boat. What lets some people on the ship and some are left at the dock? I know that the four terms i used mixed in with the slashes are not precisely synonomous but please act like they are. They are similar enough that we can conglomarate them all in to one we really like, if we attempt to tackle the differences between them as well as what they are i fear that a half-hazard spin move would juke us out easily and leave us eating grass while the likes of Lamont Jordan are moseying on by (running back of the new york jets, 479 rushing yards, 41st in the nfl (thats not good)).

Here are my thoughts and a few little conclusion like things for you to throw your footballs of intelligence at. My problem with this brain power stuff is that it is immeasurable. If we are to ask the question who knows more, we could never answer it. You can not weigh knowledge no matter what you do. I may know more than zachary when it comes to baseball statistics (the coolest sport for statistics ever invented), while he could talk me tell my face is blue with information about halo 2 strategy. Typically, I think that intelligence is weighed on "important" knowledge. You know what i mean, like the stuff they teach us in school. Math, Science, English, etc. etc. But when I think of the kid behind me as dumb, what am i really saying, he knows way more than me about snowmobiles, paintball guns, and where to look online to see people running over deer with semi (that was one sick kid). And even if we broke it down into just snowmobiles or something, you couldnt ever know if he knew more than me. There are so many specific details about it wed have to list them off and stuff and then weigh certain facts as more important than others.

From here I have latched onto a conclusion that is really quite inconclusive at all and i havent even thought it through logically, it just keeps me from delving into bad territories of pride and stuff. I usually tell myself that intelligence is fairly black and white, you either do got it or you dont. "It" would be that you think about stuff. I know it is retarded and means nothing, but it keeps me from ever even pondering or judging the question about whether or not im the 3rd, 5th, or 49th most intelligent person in nerd squad, but i can just say that everyone is the same and we each just have our strong suits and weak suits.

So, all I'm really asking for is feed back. I dont think there is really one right answer to this, but id like to see what we can learn if we wrap our brains around it. I dont really care for or see much point in debate anymore, but what i call concerted thought processes is the way to go. That could formulate in an argument, but i dont like debates connotation. So, people, please just say some things off the top of your heads, thats all i really want out of these nerd squad things, but the problem is that i only get two responses ever and then it just tapers. And if you guys who havent already could do me a favor and reply to the post i made earlier about why do we live? I think that that is the more important question and i am dying for some feedback outside of the 4 opinions i have heard so far.

Thanks tons for just reading this far, if we go at this right we might be able to stick a Curtis Martin (Jets, 1697 yards rushing, 1st in NFL (thats good)).

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(no subject) [Jun. 28th, 2005|01:38 pm]
Nerd Squad

[mood |irritatedirritated]
[music |shostakovich - sonata for cello and piano]

Hmm. I am not please with NS at all as of late. Especially online.

We have people saying its not intellectual enough.

We have people saying that they quit because they don't consider themselves intellectual.

We have people saying we can have fun and be intellectual.

And it seems like one big arguement.

*makes a banner saying "NerdSquad is Love."*

Yeah. Hm. I think going back to starbucks like we used to would be nice. BUt what do I have to say, I have two more to attend before leaving.

I also think this "there are too many people" thing is gettting mean. Becuase you are telling people to leave. Becuas eyou dont want them there and you where there before they were. Yeah.

Also, this was created to spark debates and discussions not bash other people.
It is a group of friends. You can suggest movie, dates, sex, or anthing else you want to if you know others will want it.

Stephs movie thing, no one said you had to do it, but people are attacking her for being a hypocrit and asking for less money spening thing, when here she is wanting to go to a movie. Well let me tel you. If you don't want to go, THEN DON'T.

What ever happen to the simplicity?
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about the team [Jun. 27th, 2005|01:58 am]
Nerd Squad

[mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[music |Elgars Enigma Variations]

Hello, Nerd Squad peeps. It is me, the man who many a complaint and criticism of the infamous Squad of people with problems. Here is me two cents. We must avoid something happening team, weve got to keep to the easy going people that we are so good at being. There is a reason that nerd squad has turned as it has as of late, we are lead by one of the more amazing people i know in lorinda clausen and she has a very acute ability to read people. She read that we needed a bit of a break. Some fun time together sort of. She tried the book, and no one really read it, and then everyone started complaining about it (please guys, there is like 15 of us, if we arent easier going we will collapse on ourselves, the book was fine, not perfect, but good fodder for thougt and thats all we need). Then as school closed up, so did our minds, debates continually turned to side chatter. She kind of moved one meeting (yes, only one) away from the debate. That couldve been a bad or a good call, we will never know, but she did it on her judgements, and even if you think she shouldve gone the other way, there is logic in her decision. We have spent one other meeting on the road that did cost 5 dollars, but it ended in one of our more intellectual teachings on the topic of evolution. And guys, it isnt Lorinda, or other people or anything, its each of us. There is not a single one of you out there who in one form or another is guilty of the little side thought that happens, the time talking about funny stuff, making jokes and what not. Its too bad we are all such fun loving people. Now, I have talked to lorinda before i read steph's highly negative post and mentioned a bit about our direction now (how it is leaving intellect just a titch) and what we will do. She has excellent ideas, and agrees with me on whats going on and what will go on. One point she made is timing, I know sometimes we cant help it, but we have to be punctual, a lot of the talk is detracted from by in and outers. We must be at church at 12 and leave church for destination or start convo there by 12:15. After that you need to reach us on cell phones. She is also thinking about specific topics, and im sure she will pick a great one, as well she would really like to get a professor from bethel to come in.

Guys, nerd squad is one of the greatest inventions known to high school folk anywhere. We have some of the most amazing people and minds in our prescense every time we get together, if you dont think so go hug a telephone pole or something. The fact that we can congregate in a group of 10 and maintain anything like an intellectual conversation is outstanding. This group has the ability to do great things for each of its members, I know, it has reformed me. Since nerd squads start last spring with me, lorinda, and addie at caribou I have matured more than I have ever imagined. I now understand the true challenge and necessity of always being open minded, the key to empiricism in thought and logic, and have a clear outlook upon the life i lead that maintains the highest level of joy, happiness, and love of existance that i have ever had. I thank each and every one of you for that, I couldnt have done it without you. It is this congregation that keeps me from building too many poorly founded opinions and becoming closed into my often faulty answers.

My thoughts about the groups and its chances are pretty much this: Yes, it is tough to keep a train of conversation with a lot of people, but it can do amazing things if we execute. Sure I make the most thought process progress with just me and zach and lots of espresso for a long time, but I have come to realize that often progress without diverse perspective is often ignorant progress. It is the widespread views that allow us to analyze the every nook and cranny of our conclusions and thoughts. Slow moving I know, but I love it. The trick for us is to keep it moving. Hold in the jokes when you can, and keep from small talking. It seems to me that you guys want to move forward and this will help a lot. That kind of stuff is great, i love it, but once the group gets larger the problem is severly exacerbated. When one person says a joke, everybody then comments, adds to it, laughs it up, and one of the ten people will have another funny to feed off of that one. Its awesome, i take great joy out of it, but if nerd squad wants to "keep on trucking" (yeah, pope mobile) then it would be nice if we toned it down. It takes a lot of mental concentration, and i oftentimes suck at it, but if we all try, i think we can really stick to a topic and make some headway.

Thats all I've got for now, I cant wait to meet with you guys again, I'm excited to see where this group can go mentally and where it will take me. Thought is one of the more amazing things of life and most people miss out on it. Lets cherish what we have.

Team member 34.5
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War of the Worlds [Jun. 25th, 2005|11:40 am]
Nerd Squad

[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |I Think I Love You by the Partridge Family]

Hey, I think us NerdSquadians should attend War of the Worlds on Wednesday, the 29th. Not as the activity of the day, though. After the NerdSquad meeting. Totally voluntary. Because if it were the activity of the day for NerdSquad, it would fly in the face of what I was saying several days ago. And I refuse to contradict myself. This is not NerdSquad exclusive. I think we should invite as many friends as possible to enjoy a sci-fi movie. That and Tom Cruise is very pleasing to the eye.

Anybody interested in attending?
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Nerd Squad Family. [Jun. 25th, 2005|12:01 am]
Nerd Squad

[mood |gratefulgrateful]
[music |Relient K]

Sometimes I find myself wandering around my back-yard at night.... enjoying the stars, tormenting the frogs, or listening to music. With every one of these expeditions, I always have these sincere ambitions to figure out where all of my true happiness comes from. (Thank you Laura for inspiring this thought in my head in a previous journal entry) What causes one factor of my life to greatly influence my happiness more than another? Why do I smile so much? Why do I giggle excessively? (yes Byron... I'll admit, I take large gasps for breath when i laugh?) I could go on to list all of these, but I'm afraid that the list might be infinite. I think that my happiness might actually be somewhat relative... depending on my perspective and attitude. Hmm... I don't know how to explain it. I could sit here and dwell on all of the things that truly aggravate me and depress the living day lights out of me. But, instead I'm sitting here, with my cat on my lap feeling more satisfied and happier than ever. What sparks this positivity? (i may have made that word up?) I'm not sure, but I like it's presence. I think it may be you... yes, you. You "NerdSquadians" (as I have heard us previously called by Steph) are amazing. Each and every one of you, I think that you have made me realize what life is all about, and because of that... I am in forever debt. No longer do I wake up every morning wishing something in my life would be just a little different, now I wake up in excitement of what may happen to me today, and how great I really have it. It's because of you, my friends. I love you all so much. This may sound corny, and I'm sorry if this is not the "typical" entry on an intellectual blog, such as this... but it is long over due, and needs to be said. You are all so individual, and so inspirational... If I had the time, and memory I would write every good time we've had together... but that would be time consuming and emotionally draining, so I shall refrain. Pretty much.. summed up in a bunch of words. I'm going to miss those of you who are leaving, but I'm not really that worried. I'm kind of the "rookie" of the group, but I still feel like the friendships you all have will be never ending. Don't say goodbye, please don't say goodbye.
Nerd Squad is amazing. I would have never thought a year ago, that this once a week meeting to help Jonny Poo would be a catalyst to all of these amazing relationships I've made. Thank you all so much. I love you.

*An Anonymous Nerd Squad Member*

PS. (this is where the "PS" goes, Jon) I apologize for the "emotion"... i'm a girl, i'm cursed.
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